May 11, 2013

What a difference a decade makes...

10 Years ago, I went to bed probably a couple hours from now as a college graduate.  It was the last night I spent living with my very best friends at the time.  It was a night full of promise and hope.  The world was our oyster, of course.  I was engaged, starting a full time job soon, and one week from my birthday.  My mother's day present to my mom that year was my graduation.  Graduation on Mother's Day was such a wonderful gift.  While my mom hadn't graduated from college (you would never know this), I could see the pride in her eyes after the ceremony.  My parents took pictures of me and my friends in our cap and gowns.  We were picture perfect.

10 Years ago, I woke up on May 11, 2003 and packed the remains of my college life into my parents car (and a truck I'm sure).  I hugged my very best friends goodbye and told my fiance I would see him soon.  I cried leaving my home for the last four years.  I cried leaving my very best friends.  But still...the world was our oyster, of course.  I thought about all the wonderful things coming up in my life.  A new job, wedding planning, and the official start of my life as a college graduate.

A little over one month later, I spent Father's Day crying.  My wedding was called off.  My heart was broken.  I called my parents and begged them to come get me.  I was visiting my fiance's father in the hospital and I wasn't sure I could drive home.  I hugged the women who I felt were part of my family, his mother and two sisters and cried.  I cried at the loss of my love.  I cried at the loss of what was supposed to be part of my new family.  My parents were there faster than I could have imagined.  I packed what was left of me into the car and cried the whole way home.

Tonight I go to bed married to the love of my life.  Our two little loves peacefully sleeping in their beds. My in laws are asleep in our house as well.  Half of my family is here with me tonight.  I am happier than I could have imagined 10 years ago.  While our life is not picture perfect, the world is a wonderful place filled with Sweet Pea and Monkey's laughter.  Instead of seeing the world as my oyster, I look in their eyes and am filled with hope.  The world is at their feet.

Tomorrow In a few hours, I will wake up and get ready to celebrate Monkey's birthday.  In less than a week, he will be 3 years old.  We will spend the day preparing for the party, from picking up the cake to wrapping that last present.  We will laugh and ticke and just enjoy our family.  We will see our families and some of our very best friends at the party and marvel over how big the kids are, how happy the little things make them, and have a fabulous time just being all together.  Most likely at the end of the day, I will cry; although the tears will not be of sadness or loss.  My tears on birthdays are always due to the amount of love I have in my heart.  The love that we receive from our friends and family.  The love of us.  We have the world at our feet.  It's our oyster, of course.

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