January 6, 2010

20 weeks

This was Day 5 (I think). I'm not in my flickr account right now and I'm not in the mood to find out. This is the first present RoadTripDaddy bought for the new baby. He brought this and a card home the day after (I think) we found out I was pregnant. It's the only thing we have bought for the baby. I am nervous that if I start shopping for the new little one I will go overboard. And that's probably not a good idea. Also, I would feel like I would need to get stuff for Sweet Pea too. And she will be a year old in two weeks (as of 4:29 this afternoon). So, I think we are set on presents for the moment.

Back to the topic of this post - yesterday was the 20 week mark for this pregnancy. Half way there. I can't believe it. At this point in my pregnancy with Sweet Pea, both RoadTripDaddy and I were convinced we were having a boy. And everyone was all to willing to give their opinions on the matter as well. Because I was carrying like I was having a boy. Or so I kept being told. The week of my ultrasound last time people kept asking me whether I thought Sweet Pea was a boy or girl. And I repeated over and over what I believed, that I was pregnant with a boy. I didn't tell people that I had changed my mind. That I was sure we were having a girl. See, we had a name set for a boy. And we had stopped looking at names - but part of that was that I was just so sick of repeating names over and over again trying to figure out how my child could be teased with each name I liked. I announced to RoadTripDaddy at 18 weeks that it didn't make sense to keep looking at names. We had the appointment set and there was no point in looking for a girl name too unless we were told something different at that appointment.

Going back to whether I thought we were having a boy or girl, the week of my ultrasound I became convinced (although I didn't share this with anyone) that we were having a girl. Because I was totally unprepared for having a girl. Because I didn't have a name for a girl. Because I thought RoadTripDaddy wanted a boy. Because I thought I wanted a boy. So on that day, during the ultrasound as we talked with the ultrasound tech and looked at the different parts of Sweet Pea's little body, we saw Sweet Pea's arms and RoadTripDaddy mentioned our little one becoming a pitcher for the Cubs. The technician looked scanned down further on Sweet Pea, looked at us and said our little one will be more likely waving her arms at a Miley Cyrus concert than pitching in a major league baseball game. Tears filled my eyes. I looked back at RoadTripDaddy worried he would be upset. And there were tears in his eyes. But he wasn't upset. He was happy. He squeezed my hand and we continued the ultrasound. I wiped away the tears and knew that we would be okay. I knew that it didn't matter if we were having a girl or boy. Sweet Pea was healthy and we were halfway to meeting our little girl.

My 20 week ultrasound is this Friday at 3pm. We will once again be finding out if the little one will be a boy or girl. I'm convinced we are having a girl. And having panic attacks that it will be a boy and I won't have any clue what to do. But truthfully, as long as the baby is healthy I will be happy either way.

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